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laurenhooper:

awlhf:

supervengers:

omvr:

yo gettin married at 22 sounds a lot like leavin a party at 9:30 pm

yeah but you get to leave the party with your favorite person on the planet, and take off all of your makeup, and put on your ugly comfortable clothes and make popcorn and curl up in your bed and watch a movie, and have sex and go to sleep, idk how that sounds like a bad thing.

And everyone else just wakes up alone and hungover.

this is the best thing ive ever heard

blasturbater5000:

hakosukajapan:

stickshiftbitch:

But like.. why. What if my stupid ass wants to run to Wawa for a milkshake, and I take the black key hoping to limit my gas usage and to provide for an optimum power level for drinking a milkshake whilst driving. But then some random Philly car shit goes down and there are half naked bitches everywhere in bikinis and a bunch of high horsepower Supras and GTRs start shredding down the street, and Vin Diesel comes out and starts jerking off and there are crowds of people waiting on me to make an epic milkshake-splattering burnout through the parking lot, but I took the fucking faggot ass black key today. 

i’m fucking slumped over my chair crying

shouldnt have bought a chrysler. 

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